


Of Nazis and Snakes

by riotherself



Category: Inglourious Basterds (2009), Kill Bill (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riotherself/pseuds/riotherself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Snake Charmer and the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad exist in the same time period as the Inglourious Basterds. The fact that Japan and America are at war means nothing to a man like Bill.<br/>Bill wants a certain Nazi dead.<br/>The Cottonmouth and her lieutenants are going to get the job done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Nazis and Snakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callmejude](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmejude/gifts).



> THIS OCCURED BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THAT I SMOKE CRACK AT 6AM IN ORDER TO COME UP WITH SUCH NONSENSE. AND THEN KELTY JUST MAKES IT ALL WORSE. (or better?)  
> So, the idea is that it doesn't matter that Japan and America are at war because Bill's not exactly the most....moral guy as it is?  
> Also, O-Ren does not speak English and Sofie speaking English honestly never comes up.  
> it is also in progress. OTL

O-Ren is not fluent in German, but that doesn't particularly matter. This is France, Nazi-occupied or not, and Sofie speaks French. The queen of the Tokyo underworld is out of her home country, out of her language, out of her element. This doesn't matter. Bill sent her on a mission, and she is going to go through with it. 

There is an SS private, Fredrick Zoller, and Bill's got his sights on him, and when the Snake Charmer sets his sights on someone, they end up dead. The Cottonmouth accepts.

This country is foreign and everyone stares at her. She imagines it is not for the same reasons they stare at her in Tokyo. There, she is queen of the mobs, a force to be reckoned with. She is a woman, but that does not matter, she is a formidable opponent. Here, she is an exotic people, half-Chinese and half-Japanese, something that surely none of these people have ever seen before. It may or may not have something to do with the fact that she is being escorted by a half-Japanese half-French woman and a schoolgirl (who happened to be carrying a rather large knife) as well. Honestly, Gogo could draw strange looks, even home in Japan.

In any case, O-Ren is here for one thing: to kill Fredrick Zoller.

The theatre is full of SS officers, Gestapo, and plenty of other people of importance to the Nazi party. How they manage to get in is honestly a stroke of luck. They tag along behind a group of people (Italians, accompanied by a German woman, Sofie says) and it seems the doormen thinks they are part of the seemingly diverse group.

The Cottonmouth's eyes rake through the crowd, she knows the German's face, has studied it enough to pick him out of a crowd thrice this size. He is nowhere to be seen, yet, but there is another German coming towards the three women.

Sofie steps slightly toward the man and asks, O-Ren assumes, if he speaks French. He nods and proceeds to speak in one of the most delicate and sweeping voices O-Ren has ever heard in her life. Sofie quickly translates.

"He asks where we are from and what our business is. What should I tell him?" O-Ren takes a moment to think.

"We are from Japan and we were originally here to meet your family for a film. We knew nothing of the Nazi gathering. You are a good liar, you can convince him of this."

A few more exchanges in French and Sofie turns to O-Ren again. "He wishes to speak to you." O-Ren nods and listens first to the man in front of her speaking, then to Sofie's translations. "He would like to know your name and he says that you are the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on."

"I am O-Ren Ishii of Japan and I thank you kindly. What is your name?"

"He is Colonel Hans Landa of the SS, an Austrian officer. He wishes to know if you speak English."

"It's wonderful to meet you, Col. Landa, but I regret to inform you that I do not, only Japanese." There is a twinkle in the colonel's eye. O-Ren is fascinated by him. He is so genteel, soft-spoken, this seems the opposite of the Nazis that Bill told her about.

"He says that does not bother him, that you speak it beautifully. He asks how it was that we didn't notice this was no normal theatre gathering and where my family is." Gogo starts fidgeting.

"What if he sees through our lie?" she asks in a hushed tone. O-Ren shakes her head.

"It will not matter. We came for one reason, by the time any suspicion is drawn, we will be finished and on our way." Gogo moves her hand toward her knife.

"And if we are not?" 

O-Ren almost growls at the schoolgirl. "We will be." 

"We simply thought it was a premiere, Colonel. We were supposed to meet Mlle. Sofie's family here at the theatre and have not had contact with them since arriving in France." There is a small discussion between Sofie and Col. Landa. O-Ren feels her heart rate quicken ever so slightly. What if Gogo is right, what if they had, in fact, been found out? 

Sofie's next words calm her anxieties. "He says that while this is a private party, he came without a guest and he would be most flattered if you would allow him the honor of being your escort." O-Ren sees the same relief in Sofie and Gogo's eyes that she feels. She smiles and looks directly at the SS colonel when speaking.

"No, Col. Landa, it would be my honor for you to escort me."

Landa reaches forward and O-Ren offers her hand. The colonel kisses it and then takes her on his arm. 

If the Cottonmouth could have blushed, she might have at that moment.


End file.
